||[[. The Teratoma .]]
|For Chris's coffee house job he needs a distinguished mug. We visited an antique shop , that surprised us by being three stories full of stuff. We like looking through antiques - Chris likes the old tools and machines (we saw a razor blade sharpener called a kriss kross that was neat) and I'm looking out for old prints. We are gonna start replacing broken dishes with mismatched antiques. Colored glassware is really pretty and I may collect pieces to make a ~*rainbow*~. Also old racist paraphenalia makes me sad :(|
Well, we found orange matching ceramic mugs shaped like motherfucking Laurel & Hardy. Since he couldn't just get one the checkout lady I think gave him half price. Getting mugs in the shape of comedians' heads may be a great collection.
After I was done at work today we wandered around town and visited this Simply Socks Yarn Company that we'd never been inside before. It's a very new store from though a 6 year old company. It's the most pleasant warehouse, only open one day a week and we just so happened to go there today. I was like "yay yarn maybe I will get some-" but it's super fancy thin yarn specifically for SOCKS not for fat crocheting stuff. There is a Sock Yarn Convention.
It's all hand-dyed natural fibre super high quality insane colors.
Then we went to the butcher/grocer down the street that has been there forever. It's much like an urban grocer, long time family own with old antique advertisements collected so it made us happy. Chris decided we should get Flintstone-esque giant turkey legs and wrap them in thick bacon for a meal so that will happen at some point.
Small dedicated specialty shops, shops where you talk to the owner for a while, make me not hate humanity. We go in and chat up the owners directly, who have a very keen interest in what they're doing, and we appreciate that focus and love for a craft. Chris and I want to live in a big city where that kind of thing is more prevalent, so running around to these kinds of places makes us not hate where we live.
My brother's job helps small businesses (gawd I still don't know exactly what he does it's so intermediary) and at Christmas he emailed us "DONT BUY FROM AMAZON IT HURTS SMALL BUSINESS" but it was too late.
One reason the internet is the best is because it helps create these small businesses. The yarn shop's warehouse works nearly all online. <3 internet
I also bought Gideon a new biiiiiiiiiig flight cage and since I bought it from a bird store online not like Amazon it'll be here three days after I ordered it. I'm SO EXCITED it's dumb. I got a bunch of perches and stuff cheap too so it's like super birdy Christmas.
This is in preparation for getting ANOTHER COCKATIEEEL because Gideon needs a friend who can be there for him all the time, it's very clear now that he wants the constant attention and would be super happy about it. When or where from is up in the air. I am hoping the added crazy bird won't drive Chris nuts (but I think the immensely lower stress level of his new job will help his acceptance of bird antics). Really crossing my fingers it's not insane but more of a chillaxing factor. I don't mind, it's everyone else. Big cage is also a means of like, hey, leave the bird there for a bit instead of him all up in your business all the time, it's aight.
tl;dr IM STUPID FOR TINY DINOSAURS
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|Super great!! Chris got a new full time job at the local (SO DELICIOUS) coffee roaster coffee shop down the road, meaning he can quit his miserable Walgreens job!! He'll be doing something he enjoys with people who are respectful and actually give a shit! I'm so happy for him, he's going to feel SO much better!|
Another guy had been hired at the coffee place ahead of Chris during the same hiring spree but he just got fired after like three days of work. We think Chris willed him out of his way, lol
Walgreens has been SUCH bullshit. They cut hours of the lowest level workers to make up for high-up company cutbacks. Chris has worked there almost three years with no promotions, even though he and like one other person kept the entire store functioning and he could do any job there, and several times is the only one who knows how to do anything. Also it's THE busiest store in the district, down the street from a hospital, but it's staffed by airhead teenagers and crap. Kids take off work for hockey games and Chris gets called in at random hours. It's just, on and on Walgreens kept making stupid, awful, harmful decisions. It's funny because the other hard worker quit and now Chris is quitting so that store is FUCKED. It just got new management too.
Now he's going to have a consistent schedule, such less stressful work environment, and he is going to smell SOOO GOOOD all the time.
ALSO his friend is in town who he hasn't seen in a year and we've been hanging out. We picked up We <3 Katamari and Wipeout and having a good evening.
RASH NEWS: apparently I was given a bottle of antihistamine I thought was just more prednisone that I should've been taking 4 times a day. OOPS. Either way the pharmacy is making me a topical compound (so fancy).
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|FYI I've been posting more short things and art on my Tumblrrrrr and links and interjections on my Twitterrr and I'm to lazy to repost over here.|
So for Christmas the parents and I stayed in a friend-of-sisters empty condo since my sister's house was full. Besides my mom concluding that we were gonna be arrested when we failed with the security system (including a cop stopping by) I got a mystery rash all over my arms and chest that looks like hives.
I got the rash on the 24th-ish and it's not changed sense then. I don't tell anyone about it, It's mildly itchy but itch cream fixes it and I figure it'll clear up on its own mysterious rash agenda time. There is a tradition in my family to get weird rashes around Christmas, usually my brother. Even though I have never been allergic to any animal I had ever met, I think it's from the super-loving, fat white cat that was in the condo, who snuggled with me at night. I remember his weirdly wet nose rubbing against the skin where the rash broke out.
Then one morning after I'd returned home I realized HOLYSHIT WHAT IF ITS BEDBUGS AND I BROUGHT THEM HOME WITH ME? I freak out at this and put all my luggage in plastic bags and outside in the cold, but if bugs were in my shirt they'd already invaded. I text my sister to ask the condo owners if anyone's had bites or rashes, because if bedbugs than I need to know!
Well mom freaks out at my rash. I take Benadryl but I can't tell if it's changing and don't really care. Mom than freaks out mad at me that I didn't tell her sooner because omg the family doctors are booked and closed for New Years. We are driving to the open clinic when the doctor's office calls with an opening and we turn around and mom freaks out about scheduling to go to a dinner reservation because that's what mom does.
TL:DR: I have rash
Doctor is like "yep it's an allergic rash probablly (lol I dunno)" and perscribes me short term Prednisone, a steroid, which should clear it up.
1.) It hasn't done anything to the rash yet. is it supposed to take a while??
2.) I'd had never agreed to take it if I knew the side effects would fuck me up
I'm on pills for depression and one medication makes me pass out asleep an hour after I take it (and eat entire boxes of goldfish crackers at once in a salty snack rapture). Well it's 6:52am and I haven't slept all night. I don't not sleep. I am the sleepiest motherfucker. I did nap today. I tossed and turned for the first time in forever the last few nights, not sleeping. The sleep medicine does kick in but not as strongly.
That's not the worst part. I mention my depression because before medication one of the major problems was how insanely fucking irritable I was. Well, the last few days I've had this irrationally short fuse. Every. Tiny. Thing. pisses me off, especially if it's fucking around distractedly instead of working for The Goal. Chris had his good friend visiting and I was getting mad because they were joking around while we shopped for stuff for milkshakes. How can I get mad at ice cream?? I've kept it in check and haven't lashed out or yelled even but I have to excuse myself from, like, people talking.
Because of this, the first thing that I think is that the effectiveness of my depression medication isn't working, which would suck since I don't want doses upped any more. Chris agrees that I've been weird lately. I look up drug interactions online, then see prednisone's side effects.
Nervousness and difficulty, irritability, moodswings, etc
So I'm reading horror stories about people going crazy on prednisone. It takes no digging whatsoever to find them.
Also I'm SUPER THIRSTY which I thought was dry winter air but that's not new, probably made worse by TONS OF SWEAT. I woke myself up from dry mouth the other day. I just soaked the bed :( Grossssss.
Chris noticed a weird unlisted thing since I've taken it, which is The Goal. I normally have things I plan to do in my head, and get a little bit affronted when I can't do them. But I'm now extremely focused, working without taking breaks, fixated on One Thing that if I get pushed away from accomplishing I CAN'T STAND it. DONT stand and talk to me I have to GO. I've needed to clean the apartment , and there's this huge pile of unorganized shit in the closets and I fucking tackled that, cleaned the work room, among other stuff. Two days I worked nonstop worked on my own. I was motivated and it felt good to get it done. Chris's guests came in the middle of it, and watched me sort everything, cuz that's fun.
Since I finished the closets I've spent all my evenings learning how to use my new sewing machine via trying to sew big (3ft plus) lizard plushies (still unsuccessful). At work it's useful too. I really really needed green yarn to complete my color collection for crocheting (aka ~.*rainbow!!*.~) and I wasn't satisfied until I had it.
I've got about a week left of tapering doses, and I reaaally hope the side effects wear off with it.
fuck this drug and the bottle it came in. NOT WORTH IT.
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|Current Music:||(Version) - The Microphones|
|My head is permenantly screwed up.|
Recently I listened to Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality Unlike other self-help or editoral books on the subject, this one focuses on the science first and foremost. And while it is indeed full of sex, it is even more eye-opening and informative, possibly more so, in its description of prehistoric life of humans (and the science to support it).
What has struck me was how much sense it made that problems of civilizations are deviations from humanity's natural way of living - as immediate return (short storage) hunter-gatherers.
All of the claims are supported by strong evidence in the book but I won't list all of it here.
Essentially, for 95% of human's existence, people
- Held no posessions besides those of only sentimental value
- Foraged for food, which they kept for short spans of time, no farming or domestication
- Had plentiful food supply thanks to an omnivorous diet and low population density
- Foraging was not time consuming, especially compared with farming
- The variety of food is astronomically higher than what is available to agricultural societies
- Food was freely given and shared between people
- Enjoyed long and healthy lives
- Some areas of the world are trying to get back the lifespan and height they had before agriculture
- Although infant mortality was high, especially conscious infanticide, lower average age numbers
- Infanticide kept a group's numbers within a supportable range
- and growth in population would not become important until agriculture and the need for farmhands and inheritable posessions
- Infectious diseases would be difficult to spread because groups lived far apart
- One theory says low level of intestinal worms are expected by the body and lack of them lets it become allergic to harmless things
- Low stress levels
- Human cleverness and altruism means of any animal, we are the best at caring for each other's wounds
- Lived in groups of up to 150 people (Dunbar's number) with freedom to leave or go
- Were part of a small total population of humans, meaning vast resources for everyone
- Had sexual activity with each other, straight and same-sex and both, frequently, often in groups or in close successive acts
- Sex would have most often been between people who were deeply involved in each other's lives for a long time, relied upon, and cared for
- Think bonobos, where sex solves problems
- Had no marriage in the traditional sense, which is based upon the idea of property and ownership which was a creation of agriculture and wealth
- Cared for infants and children as a group, for the good of the group
- with mothers nursing other children
- fathers not knowing and not caring about paternity, equally raising all the children
- Did not worry much about fear of violence from other humans
- evidence of human-on-human violence in paleolithic remains is rare
- High sexual activity is inversely correlated with amounts of violence, that is, more sex = less violence... less sex = more violence
- Adverse behavior was kept in check by communal shaming, which is possible to do only in close groups
- The worst punishment was exile
- Sleep when and how much you want
- Little work meant naps all the time who cares
- Cannot hold position over anyone else, because individuals can always leave
- Equality, sharing, openness, kindness
NOTE: There are very few true immediate-return foraging humans left. Most 'primitive' groups have agriculture, storage, or are not nomadic. They also do not have the open vast areas of resources, and of course interact with modern societies.
10,000 or so years ago EVERYTHING CHANGED and we got agriculture. Suddenly humans were staying in one place which neccesitated growing food, which created war (over possessions) and wedlock (and polygamy).
So now I see tons of problems in society that would not have been a problem in our natural way of living.
- Corporate CEO got away with fucking over thousands of people? Wouldn't have happened if we lived in small groups and could shame people in to good behavior
- Can't get sexually satisfied? Wouldn't be a problem, you'd have had plenty of time and people ready and willing
- Problem of violence and reckless behavior? More sex chills everyone out
- Are you afraid of your neighbors? It'd be impossible if you knew and also relied on everyone (which is possible when you don't know that many)
(Seriously how crazy is it that I can live in a building so close to people and not know them and be terrified of them!!)
- Exhausted from caring for a new born child? Wouldn't be a problem to hand her over to any of the other nursing mothers and caring adults you have 24/7, not just on special occasions, and not just your parents or whatever,
- Tired that you have to work so hard at a job? Wouldn't be a problem when you don't have jobs beyond finding food, so you'd have free time to do whatever you want
- Autism, ADD, and other mental differences? Useful and adaptable in the wild, or able to live out how they wish easily, or cared for by the group.
The only down sides I can see:
- Critical illness or wound you couldn't cure well
- Could be eaten by bears and such
- boredom maybe?
So there's this image in my head of these peaceful healthy folks, chowing down on local delicassies (bugs, fruit, whatever), enjoying pristine landscapes, playing with whatever adorable kids come around, sleeping, having some love time with loved ones (and some more and some more), sleeping, joking and laughing and singing, sleeping, cuddling by a fire. No stress. No fear. That's how it's supposed to be.
All I can think of is how far off base we have become, and how intensely that's impacting mine and everyone's life terribly. The intense stress, fear for the future, loneliness, fear of fellow man (I mean really how bad is that), cruelty to incredible degree done to people by people, quality of life decreasing from lack of basic pleasures of food, sex, health, freedom.
I can't get over it. It pisses me off and crushes me to think about.
If you need something to blame, one theory is that groups started staying in one place to grow and brew beer....
"We were born to fart around. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise" - Mark Vonnegut
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|Current Music:||Purify - Metallica|
|Subject:||bye bye bread|
|Before bed last night I had a stomach ache that made me wish for fucking death. I haven't had one of these in a while, and only one this bad once before. Arrrgh|
I'm 100% sure that it's due to eating the big fancy loaves of whole grain bread I get for sandwiches. It's always given me problems but I'd eat it so often I couldn't distinguish it from the other food I'd eat. Now, since I haven't bought it for a while, and I just ate some in the first time for a while, tells me that's exactly it. Eating the cheap wheat bread doesn't cause any problems. The internet tell me this reaction to whole grain bread is apparently a thing. I likely don't have general IBS just disagreement with this one thing.
I had a PBJ and a sub on whole grain yesterday and that was wayyy too much oh my gawd. Terrible night sleep.
It breaks my heart because the bread is so good and big and tasty.
my guts argh
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|new plant babies|
( [ picturessssss ]Collapse )
The habonero plant Gideon chopped up is magically still alive and in the best shape of the peppers! The base of the stem that he cut isn't quite cut all the way through so it's still getting fluid to the leaves and not withering. So it's hanging down the side of the pot, it's pretty. but WTF for real.
To start growing new peppers I need a heating mat but fuck those are expensive. hrm....
I initially started buying plants small or as seeds because of budget, but now I've developed a philosophy that separates having plants vs gardening, decoration vs activity. It doesn't really count in my head if I get a big healthy plant and just have it, especially if it gets really shitty and dies, which would be terrible. If I can keep something alive and let it grow then it's growth is on account of me, and that's the important part.
I have this quirk where I'm more likely to remember to take care of the plants if there's MANY so it's like OH GAWD THE STAKES ARE HIGH.
Made a ghetto sprinkly watering can for the seeds out of a pepsi bottle and stabbing holes in it.
Also bird vs greenhouse (greenshelves?) plastic lololol
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||[[. The Teratoma .]]